


Always Found Wanting

by Lys ap Adin (lysapadin)



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Gen, Gift Fic, first-person narration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-06-01
Updated: 2001-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-03 20:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lysapadin/pseuds/Lys%20ap%20Adin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chang Wufei reflects on his role in Endless Waltz.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always Found Wanting

**Author's Note:**

> Painfully old fic, reposted for the sake of archiving it. Original author notes below; some bits may be redacted for the sake of the author's dignity.
> 
> \---
> 
> Hi guys. ^_^; This trippy little fic is dedicated to Pixy Misa, the 100,000th visitor to my page at GWAddiction... she requested, and I tried to fulfill. I think I may have failed...

I am rarely proud of the things I did during the wars. They were things that needed to be done in order that Operation Meteor--both versions of it--might be accomplished, but they were things I did because they were needful, not because I wanted to do them.

\--_that's not true_\--

My service to Mariemeia...

\--_was a mistake_\--

...was a miscalculation.

\--_you were shortsighted_\--

I thought that hers was the only way for a warrior to survive.

\--_you were blind_\--

I was...

\--_foolish_\--

...disoriented during the days that followed the destruction of the Libra. I was young, and turned to what I thought was a new mission to busy myself.

\--_you were stupid_\--

Maybe it was a mistake. But it was a mistake I corrected.

\--_nearly at the cost of someone's life_\--

Yuy was the strongest of us all. I had confidence in him.

\--_you were faithless. in everything. to everyone_\--

I would not have challenged him if some part of me hadn't known he would stop me.

\--_you were arrogant_\--

He understood. He stopped me. He saved the world. He always does.

\--_you were jealous_\--

No! I have no need of jealousy. I am stronger than that.

\--_you're weak_\--

I was trying to do the best I could.

\--_you failed_\--

I...

-_-failed_\--

never was what you wanted me to be, Meiran.


End file.
